"We've redefined the boundaries of bad taste," he boasts. "Elephants contain an enormous quantity of blood," he notes sagely. Neil points out the inclusion of extra animals, including elephants. Well, the first Carmageddon was exceptionally tasteless. Patrick takes offence: "Probably the most? I should hope it's the most tasteless game of all time, or else I'll be damned annoyed." So, guys, how does it feel to be responsible for probably the most tasteless game of all time? It sounds like a minor change, but it means that, for example, you can open the car door while driving, hence the current hilarity - Patrick weeps with laughter as he takes a pedestrian's arm off with a well-aimed swipe.
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A recent change to the code has enabled the team to start placing 'jointed' objects, such as articulated lorries, into the game. Naughty schoolboy giggling abounds as the pair demonstrate their latest meisterwork. If they turned up together on your doorstep i n the middle of a thunderstorm, you could be forgiven for anticipating an ugly incidentįortunately, the only atrocities they commit are restricted to the small screen.Īnyone whose education was enlivened by the occasional illicit laugh at an obscene doodle scrawled on the back of an exercise book would get on well with Patrick and Neil. Neil is stocky and shaven-headed., observing proceedings with the faindy detached amusement of an Amsterdam coffee shop attendant. Patrick sports a lengthy wizard's beard if he put on enough weight he could pose as a malevolent Santa Claus. For computer boffins, they're an unlikely looking duo. First there's Patrick Buckland, lead programmer, and the aforementioned Neil Barnden. The talented development team behind Carmageddon II is headed by three main players. They're laughing because Carmageddon II is almost unbearably funny. They laugh out loud, and they're not simply putting on a show for the benefit of PC. Particularly when they're demonstrating Carmageddon II -Carpocalypse Now, their current work in progress. According to lead artist Neil Barnden: "It was a case of thinking of all the things you'd really like to do in a driving game - where you'd play something and think 'yeah, but if only you could do that then it would be fucking ace' - and then making it." They seem to laugh a lot at Stainless.
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Subsequently overturned, and the game was restored to its full gory glory.Īnd they did it all for a laugh. Fortunately for psychopaths everywhere, the BBFC's decision was As anyone with a passing interest in gaming is aware, it ran into trouble with the BBFC (British Board of Film Censors), and was released in censored form. Carmageddon is a game in which you crash cars and run over pedestrians to score points.
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God be praised we're not living in the world of Carmageddon.Ĭarmageddon has made Stainless Software rich, an observation authenticated by the flash cars parked outside their increasingly cramped offices housed on the Isle of Wight. Would you feel safe walking in front of a man with a loaded gun? Of course not - yet a car could kill you just as easily. When you think about it, simply using a zebra crossing involves an incredible amount of trust on the part of the pedestrian. Still, at least no-one's deliberately trying to mow you down (touch wood). Step out in front of one of these motorised sleepwalkers and your sole contribution to our national heritage is likely to amount to little more than just another harrowing statistic in an eerie public information film.
yet.Īnd who can blame them, since they're scarcely aware they're driving at all? They've got one ear tuned to Rubbish FM, and the other plugged into a mobile phone, and both sides of the road are littered with eye-catching hoardings designed to make passing motorists stop thinking about driving and start thinking about buying a new kind of breakfast cereal instead. Roads are heartless tarmac racetracks ruled by four-wheeled metal boxes driven by barely sentient sales reps whose rationale for speeding rests entirely on the fact that they haven't suffered a fatal head-on crash. Hit hard enough, you'll burst like an offal balloon, transformed from a blinking, thinking being into a sickening whirlwind of spiralling innards and marrowbone shrapnel. You may think you're a valuable human being, with thoughts, emotions, ambitions and desires, but as far as that oncoming vehicle is concerned, you're just a big bag of blood.